Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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