i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
