Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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