I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
