It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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