Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
