in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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