If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
