haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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