You made me cry and you don't even care
I cockslap morals
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
