So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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