i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
