Can Purell be used as lube?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
