Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
