whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
