so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
