ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Randomize
