I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
