Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
