I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
