false alarm. still invincible.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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