My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
