just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
