I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
