he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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