ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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