Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
