go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
