Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
