please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
