thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
