Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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