Who did Billy Mays play for?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
