How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
