the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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