I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's official drugs can't kill me
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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