i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
