party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
