I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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