I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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