And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
