Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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