im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
