He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
