Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
