She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
