I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
