So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
