Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Are we still banned from the library?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
