id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
