I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
