He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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